Way to Work it, Girl...

Yesterday I blogged about my MIL coming to stay with the kids while we went out of town. Before we left I sat the kids down and had "the talk" with them. You know which one I mean, right? The "if you don't behave yourselves this weekend I will kill you" talk. For the most part, I have pretty good kids. I don't usually worry about how they'll behave when I'm not around (when I am around is a whole other story, though). They tend to mind their manners and be respectful to whatever adult is in charge. But they haven't spent a lot of time with MM's mom, and I was afraid they'd test their boundaries with her and cause problems. Since this was the first time I'd left them alone I was worried.

So we had "the talk" and then I went over the rules with them. When it got to the bedtime rule, The Girl interrupted. "Mom, our bedtime is 9:30, not 9:00!" Excuse me child? I'm the one who set your bedtime, I should know what time it is! I said, "TG, your bedtime has been the same for 5 years. It's 9:00." She sputtered, "No it isn't! It's 9:30! You said we had to start getting ready for bed at 9:00, but we didn't actually have to go to bed until 9:30!"

Sometimes I just can't believe her. She actually argued with me. Her mother! The one who set her bedtime to begin with. Who does that?

When my MIL got here, I gave her the kids' homework schedules (more about that later) and told her the kids' bedtimes were 9:00. I made sure to tell her to watch out for The Girl, because she'd try to stay up later if possible. She said she'd be on her guard.

Later that night The Girl and I were talking and she asked, rather slyly, "So Grandma is in charge while you're gone, right?" I know my child, so I was already suspicious. "Yes, TG, she's in charge while I'm gone." She smiled, "So what she says goes, right? Even if she breaks one of your rules." This girl. "Yes, TG, what she says goes. I'm not going to be here and she's in charge of you, so if she tells you to do something or says something is ok even though I wouldn't normally let you do it, you listen to her." Her smile got bigger and she nodded her head. I knew this didn't bode well.

Sure enough, MM gets a call on his cell phone Thursday night. We were in the checkout line at Target when the phone rang. MM rolled his eyes when he saw his mom's number on the screen. He answered and asked if everything was ok. It was The Girl. She asked if I was asleep (why she'd ask if I was asleep at 8:00 p.m. is totally beyond me, but whatever) and MM said, "I hope not, since she's standing right next to me." Now, if you remember, TG has phone issues. I guess she didn't understand what MM said, because he kept repeating it. "I hope she isn't asleep, since she's standing right here." After a few seconds of this MM pulled his phone from his ear and looked at it funny, then put it back and said, "No she's not tanning! Why would she be tanning? You're not the brightest of our children, are you?" Evidently she couldn't understand what he was saying and somehow got "tanning" from "standing".

When he said, "You're not the brightest of our children, are you?" I looked at the cashier and she bust out laughing. She'd kind of been snickering at the conversation all along, but she really lost it when he said that. Then she kind of paused when she saw me looking at her and her eyes got wide, like maybe she was afraid I was going to be mad. I just rolled my eyes and grinned at her. Freaking MM.

Anyway, it turns out The Girl was calling because she'd been trying to explain to Grandma that if she said the kids could stay up until 9:30, they could. Grandma wasn't buying this after the big production I made about their bedtime being 9:00, though. The Girl had to call me so I could tell my MIL that it was true, she was in charge while I was gone and if she said it was ok for the kids to stay up until 9:30 then they could. I couldn't help it, I just laughed. Only my child, people. Only my child.

My MIL got on the phone and I told her, yes, she was in charge and if she wanted the kids to stay up until 9:30 they could. She said, "Well, I don't mind if they stay up late, but since you made such a big deal about it...." In the end I said I didn't care what they did, since I wasn't home to witness it.

All this, over a freaking half hour. Manipulative little brat, my daughter. Still, I have to give her credit for working the angles.

(and no, I'm not going to share with you how MM later told me I had, in fact, told the kids their new bedtime could be 9:30 and then promptly forgot, but thanks for stopping by anyway)