Homework War

I've always felt bad for Holly for the Homework Hell she's gone through, but in a removed sort of way. Kind of like "Thank God that's not my kid". I never thought she was joking about what she went through with TG, but I also didn't think it could be that bad. Holly is a strict parent (as I've said numerous times) and she can't get her kid to do her homework? It just didn't seem likely. Now I know that not only was every word she ever said about it true, but that she was actually UNDER exaggerating. Since seeing the error of my ways, I've offered her everything (including my first AND second born) to take W off my hands during the school year. I think W would listen to her and come back home ready for the homework awaiting him in fifth grade. For some reason, she's not going for it. I would even offer to take my second born off the table, which should clinch the deal.

This is the first year that PASS is available to the parent. I'm able to check W's grades every week. I know every parent thinks their kid is smart, but W is super smart. Like he doesn't even have to try. He just has that thing that smart people have. I don't know how or why, but he has it. So why does he have a D in math and a F in reading? WHY?????

He's a lazy little bugger, that's why. I never factored that into the smart thing. You can be as smart as Albert-freaking-Einstein, but that doesn't mean that you'll get good grades. You have to actually do your work. YOU HAVE TO TRY. You have to tell the truth. So when your mom and dad ask you if you have homework, don't say NO. Honestly, the kid just lies to our faces. I don't know if he's actually lying b/c he's too lazy to do the damn work or if he's forgotten he even has it. At first I was Wing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that time has passed.

A week and a half ago, a notice was sent home to all parents. They wouldn't accept work any later than five days after it was due. Anything late automatically gets a grade lower. Parents have lots of stuff to sign, etc. I didn't like the five day thing, which I now realize is ridiculous. My kid is smart so why the hell isn't his homework on time? Oh, b/c he forgets it or doesn't try. Or back to #1: Laziness.

Last Thursday he called me when he got home from school to ask if he could play [insert electronic device here]. I asked him if he had homework. He said yes, he had math. I asked if he had reading. He said no. I told him to do what he could on the math (he said he needed help) and I would go over the rest of it when I got home. After I got home, we did our usual dinner routine where he casually mentions that he has a book report due Friday. THE NEXT DAY. He has to write a report on a biography. But the book he wanted was checked out by some other girl and she was going to do the report on that person so it was okay. I was like huh???? It was all convoluted and resulted in him being grounded for two days from his laptop. After he cried (he's one of those criers that looks absolutely devastated while crying) and just blatantly refused to do the report, Bill ran him over to the library. This all happened about 6:30pm.

While they were at the library, I graded his math homework (they are working on division). It's little gems like this that remind me why I love this kid so damn much.

Question: Mr. Brooks bought a box of 66 acorns to class. Can he give 3 acorns to each of the 23 students in his class? How? Why or why not?

W's answer: No He can't if you divide it you will get it.

This is by far my favorite of all of his answers.



Question: Explain how you can find the quotient of 84 divided by 4.

W's answer: If you divide right you will get it right. I'm sure of it.

After we finished his math, he started reading the biography he got. He didn't get done with his report until about 9:30. He usually goes to bed at 8, so this was significantly later. Can you guess what happened on Friday?

HE FORGOT HIS FOLDER.